Kate the mare.

I was able to steal away for two days to catch up with Harry Witney in Rogersville, TN. He had taken roost for a few weeks at Mendin’ Fences Farm, a Horsemanship Education Center somewhere between Johnson City and Knoxville. The short trip was well worth the effort as I loved how Mendin’ Fences is set up and functions and got some good ideas about how I’d like to set up a location whenever that becomes a reality. I was able to watch and chat with Harry and the gathering around him for two days- and the gathering included Tom Moates who has become a Hope Horsemanship friend and comes to work/play with our horses from time to time- but also made a new friend from SC (Sue) and got to chat with Molly Sanders who does great interviews on her podcast: A Learner’s Journey.

I had a few good take aways this particular trip I plan to write about, but the one that felt most compelling for me personally was watching Harry work with a beautiful strong independent mare named Kate.

The way Harry worked with Kate wasn’t any different than other horses I’ve watched him work. Kate wasn’t all that particularly different from other horses either. Why this story particularly touched me was probably as simple as timing. Recently I have found myself distracted from my own path and my own story and though I knew it was happening, sometimes knowing doesn’t solve the deeper problems. Sometimes being aware is only the first step and not enough to make an internal shift that brings about change. I knew I was becoming anxious because my mind was not centered on my current place in my current journey. I knew this shows up in my wanting to start rushing around…

What brought new clarity and impacted me came from seeing a story unfold that revealed to me, in a simpler version, what I was happening in my own life. That story enabled me to shift back to where the peace would be. Here is what I observed:

Kate the mare.

Kate was 26, not young for a horse. She’d had a life of performance, hurry and worry. Kate had been there and done that, her new owner explained, including long miles on the Appalachian trail, racing barrels and various other jobs in her life. She seemed now to get resentful about being pushed to perform. Sometimes she would dig in her heels and refuse to connect with a human and work together anymore, if pressed she would rush and go fast to get it over with. I just want her to have a happy rest of her life now, her owner said, that’s why we’re here.

They brought Kate into the round pen and set her loose. She went about hurrying and worrying… and didn’t see any value in checking in with Harry. When he’d make a suggestion that she could let go of her anxiety and the thoughts that took her mind away from the roundpen she’d respond in a cloud of dust.

Harry took his time with her and never encouraged her to add energy or up her effort. He kept it all slow. After a while of working in this relaxed slow way someone asked: Would you start working her at faster speeds now? (The horse before Kate Harry had done a lot more work at faster speeds) Harry responded: No, she just needs to get realizing that she can feel good right here. We don’t need to rush.

The mare took a fair amount of convincing that Harry had anything at all to offer her. She was independent and strong willed and didn’t seem to need or want a leader in her life. When the mare let her thoughts wander away from what was happening at the moment in the pen she would get anxious and rush around. And yet Harry’s convincing was quiet, soft, and patient. He never chased her around to get her attention. He wanted her to work it out. If she could come through working it out herself, he explained, it would be more meaningful to her.

When the time was right, Harry asked the mare to let go of the thoughts that took her away from being present: Be here now he said. Be here now. And he would wait, and help her notice him, help her see she could relax and feel good if she would choose to let go of the worries and choose to be with him, present in the pen. Yet she had to choose. When she would momentarily choose to pause and even consider connecting he would say: Good for you mare, good for you.

I couldn’t help but think: who wouldn’t want to be one of Harry’s horses? Who wouldn’t want a leader who has the steadfast patience to do what the horse needs when the horse needs it to help the horse feel better about themselves and their world? Who isn’t looking for guidance on how to be here now, and someone willing to care enough to firm up to help, never to punish, and to encourage the freedom to work it out in your own way? Who actually cares that it’s meaningful for the horse not just that it’s effective to get to a goal? Who doesn’t want a leader in their life like Harry- whose priority is first that the horse feels better? 

I reflected how when Harry works a horse he doesn’t consider what he did with the horse before her or what the horse after her will need. He doesn’t consider what will entertain those observing. Each is unique and he focuses only on that horse and what she needs at that moment – and at this point in his experience he’s gotten pretty darn good at knowing – for each horse, their story, and their needs. 

I reflected how beautiful it is that in truth, I do have that very thing. And it was at work in that very moment. How healing it is to have an experience that changes an understanding, that changes emotions, that changes how I function and respond. What a piece of hope right there at the round pen.