Hope Horsemanship

Tag: horse

  • Life in Transition

    Life in Transition

    Have You Ever Felt Bone Tired?

    Recently I’ve noticed that my body seems to be struggling to keep up with me. I hear this echo reminder: the body keeps the score. I haven’t read that book, but it’s been recommended to me a few times. Maybe I should…

    I have learned not to ignore the subtle things, and this week I sat with the question—what is it? My joints get stiff; I have these weaknesses in my hip or shoulder that come and go… I’m getting older each year, and I had a pretty bad case of Lyme’s in 2024, so that can’t be discounted as a factor. The spirit is willing, but some days when I get up in the morning, it seems the flesh is weak.

    As I journaled and allowed myself to take stock of what is going on, I thought about how draining transitions are on us. I am definitely in a transition—in fact, I’m at the edge of the transition cliff this month, and as I get closer to the edge, the stress and fears are becoming more real each day. I sometimes get that feeling through my whole body—that tingling feeling when you’re too close to the edge and you look down…

    You step back and say: It’s okay, I’m not going to fling myself over. I am safe here.

    Only, actually, I am about to fling myself over.

    I have never felt the need to bungee jump or parachute out of a perfectly good plane. The turbulence that drops you (safely seat-belted in) without notice, makes me queasy. I’ve been told there are only two fears we are born with: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. This thing feels incredibly primal when it shudders through my system as I lay in the safety of my bed.

    As I considered this transition period, I realized I’ve probably been in some form of transition since 2019, but with a few seasons of stability in different areas of my life, I think moving to the rural mountains of Virginia in 2007 was the first real cliff dive that sent me into a way of life that has been constantly calling me to new growth and uncomfortable expansion. Looking back, there were numerous times I was pretty sure I wouldn’t “make it,” and yet each time, there I landed, in a better place than I left.

    As I considered this, it occurred to me that transitions are the most meaty and challenging places, and they define our lives, the excellence, and how far we can go. Just yesterday I heard in an interview: The scope of your life will likely be determined by how much pain you can tolerate.

    He was talking about how risky and painful expansion and growth can be. Those who can tolerate the pain that comes with being willing to press into places we cannot be certain of are more likely to expand their reach and see internal growth than those who have to stay in their comfort zone. Also I do not discount the reality that sometimes we are forced into transitions we did not volunteer for. Peoples lives are shifted through unwanted divorce, unexpected job loss, medical trauma, accidents and the like. That reminded me of a series I listened to on repeat, taking notes, by Tony Stoltfus years back, on going through transitions well—and how important the transition is to how the next season will be once we arrive.

    In fact, I believe the transitions are the most valuable material and show the strength or weakness in the structure, and this is where I circle back to my horsemanship.

    I spent a week with Harry Whitney and friends in Floyd, VA, a couple weeks ago, and in a few lessons he talked about the value of frequent transitions. Once we are established in a pattern, solid training and autopilot can take over, and we can look (artificially) pretty good. The part that reveals what is really going on under the surface, is in making a change together.

    Honor, Jaime and Harry Whitney

    Change in direction and change in speed are the most common with a horse—but these always require (if done well) a change of thought. How quickly and how completely can we get into the change? How available is the horse to our input that we should make a change? The way in which the horse goes from halt to walk, or walk to halt, can tell a lot about the quality of the connection.

    Humans have gotten adept at finding ways to make the body of the horse comply. We have the tools: reins and double reins; bits and stronger bits; martingales and nosebands; chains and cavessons when we need them. No matter how good we are at forcing the horse to physically take on a transition, their body tells the score if you look.

    “Get better at seeing the motions that go along with the emotions,” Harry would say. 

    Once you see how the tension shows itself, you won’t be able to unsee it. The first level of unwanted tension from a horse in physical compliance without a mental change is a head raising. I have seen this from a subtle lift to a full-on head fling that could take out a rider if not wearing a helmet. Even if you fix this with a tie-down, the brace shows up in the muscles and the hollow frame still exists under the surface. Tension kills. Bracing against the work we are doing creates damage internally and externally. I have actually seen horses (multiple times) exhibit intermittent lameness of various degrees that no veterinarian or farrier could explain or heal come right after working in a round pen with Harry, whose first concern is to remove the tension that comes from the mind and body out of alignment. Not only have I seen it, I went through it with Khaleesi a few years ago, and getting her to think “forward” instead of being physically driven forward cleared out the uneven lameness I’d been worrying over. It will show up on occasion—always when she does not want to go forward (especially the last loop of an endurance ride from camp)—and if I get her mind lined out, the off-step lameness gait dissolves completely. Every time.

    There are transitions all over our horse lives. Removing my horse from the pasture with her friends is a transition. Being groomed and tacked for an activity is a transition. Going from the ground to the saddle is a transition. How much attention do you pay to these steps? Does your horse fling up his head when you approach with a halter? Do you have to trick your horse into being caught with cookies or trapping him in a stall for breakfast? Do you use cross-ties to groom? Have you ever had someone hold your horse for you while you mount? Some of the ways we mitigate the weakness in these places are not bad if they are a temporary measure in place while the weakness is addressed so the horse can come fully on board, but they do reveal when something is broken in the connection.

    Leaving friends or the barn for a trail ride is a transition, changing gaits in the arena… changing direction, lines, and circles in an arena… These are all places we can find out: how available is the horse to us?

    I have found the first place to start, is to notice: whenever you stop your horse, does the head elevate? If so, you have tension in the transition and mental/physical disagreement—however slight. It is a weakness. Another place is going up a gait—when you ask your horse from walk to trot, do they pop themselves up into the trot with a hop in the front end? Or is it a smooth lift of the entire body driven from the hind?

    Most horses exhibit some of these tensions. Perfection is rare—but the truth, if we are willing to see it, will set us free. Noticing is the first step! Doing more frequent transitions until the resistance dissolves will bring more availability, relaxation, and connection. I have never seen someone address these transition issues and not get some shifts from the attempt. We first must have eyes to see, then we can begin to ask how we can make this better.

    Screenshot

    The best news is that focusing on the transition places makes a big difference in the whole picture. This is where greatness is gained or lost. Adjust the connection in the transition, and the connection in the execution of the whole is raised every time.

    I think it’s like this in life too. The transition spaces are harder to stay connected. Self-protection stemming from fear disconnects us from each other, ourselves, and God. When we disconnect, we harden and brace, preparing for the worst and feeling alone in our survival. For me, it can be easy to barrel onward, knowing what I have to do and bracing for the trouble I perceive ahead. I force myself onward because I know it’s what I must do. When walking through hell, keep walking! (I am far from walking through hell, but the point is related.)

    The fact that I’ve noticed I feel increasingly sore, exhausted, and with more on my mind that keeps me from interacting fully present with those around me is a signal to slow down and breathe. To reconnect first internally with myself: What is going on, and how do I feel about it? What am I most afraid of today?

    When I expose the truth of what I believe in the transition, and what is bringing the tension and stress, I can reconnect with others too. I might need to share my fears with trusted friends who can remind me I’m not alone and remind me of the truth of who I am. This truth is always greater than the perceived truth the fear plants. For me, I need to slow down to hear what God has to say about this season as well. I hear him in the ancient writings, in things highlighted in the nature around me, I hear him in a word of encouragement from a friend that hits deeper than usual, sometimes in a dream, or an idea or image that comes to me as if completely from outside my own thoughts. We all hear voices! It’s just easier to accept the voice that says: You’ll never make it. You’re going to die here. Why would you ever risk it? You’re not good enough.

    It is much harder to align with the voice of love that says: You are going to be okay! Relax and have peace even in the unknown—I promise to guide you through. No matter what happens, you’ll grow and learn—and you’re never alone! You can do it. Look how many times you thought you might fall and instead you flew! You can fly again!

    I suppose if the parallel returns to the horsemanship—it’s my job when I notice the tension to slow down and remind her: You can do this! We are in it together, and you can trust me. Relax into my guidance and trust that when we do it together, it will feel so much better! You can have peace right here, with me! Trust me.

    I know many people argue we don’t have time for that. But I choose not to believe in scarcity whenever I notice it creeping in. When we submit to the Kronos of the time clock and we believe that the scarcity of seconds, minutes, hours and days rule our lives, it always creates stress and tension and anxiety. When I enter into that transition space as a timeless product of Kairos time, everything expands and I have peace. What is more important than staying present in the moment, in the truth, and smoothing out the rough edges?

    Screenshot

    Yes, especially in the beginning, it takes time away from whatever agenda I have set. I have the choice before me to hurry in tension and disconnection to force something in order to check a box and get a thing accomplished, or I can step into eternity for a moment and reconnect, guide, and become a real leader that my horse will increasingly trust and depend on. The process is slower early on, but creates something of magical excellence along the years that is the thing I crave more than the buckle, the ribbon, or the record. It is more real than anything else I could produce, and it lasts longer too.

    For me, it is worth it.

  • I’ve Never Had a Connection Like That Before…

    I’ve Never Had a Connection Like That Before…

    This is something I have begun to take for granted.

    Jaime taking input from Tom – after a few minutes of giving Wyoming time to make the choice to accept the side pull at liberty. She is trying, but you can see some tension in her neck and she has some concerns lingering

    Connection has become a buzz word in the horse community, but looking at all the interviews and taglines that use the word, I wonder: what exactly are we all talking about? I don’t think we all mean the same thing when we talk about connection. I can’t be totally sure though because as I waited for it through even hour long podcasts… I have never yet heard it defined. 

    This brought me to consider what do I think it means?

    To me, connection with a horse is when the horse is present in the moment in the physical space with me both in mind and body. The horse is available, responsive, and willing to try when I ask something — regardless if the request is known or new. With connection there is a calm mind, relaxed body, and sense of peace between us. 

    Connection is not 100% on or off, at least not in my experience. It is a place we find with increasing regularity as I honor the freedom of the horse and convince the horse through experience that I am a safe place to be available for connection.  This means I cannot use force or punishment to get something done. This trust is established through clarity, timing, and patience. The higher level of these skills a human carries, the quicker the trust is established. Horses have a range of natural tendencies and while some horses demand close to perfection from a handler to relinquish their own plans, some horses are pretty forgiving of bad timing, poor clarity, and other mistakes that introduce various levels of confusion or negate feel to the process. 

    Jaime looking to re-establish connection with Wyoming as her mind went elsewhere

    There have been years I thought I had connection with Khaleesi. She was the horse I started with the only tools I had at the time which were basically (for lack of better language) Natural horsemanship which I define generally as a horse training method built on the concepts of increasing and driving pressure. *Your definition of Natural Horsemanship may differ, but in this article I’ll give mine for clarity*

    Direct, driving pressure and the punishment factor of increasing pressure until a response comes… well, it works. I was thrilled with how well it went as I used this approach to start four-year-old Khaleesi. I look back now and see I equated obedience and timely response to connection. Some people equate close proximity to connection. Some people have told me grooming a horse is a point of connection. Some people equate solid training to connection. *Grooming a horse, or having the horse respond in a timely way etc of course can be done in connection, but it can also be without connection, therefore they are not evidence of connection.*

    Ilana Starkey working to establish connection with Mia who began present in body but not in mind due to the worry over being separated from her pasture mate Mia

    Though I don’t think it’s useful to anthropomorphize horses, I have found parallel examples in good relationships across the board that help my understanding and adjust my approach. I have experienced being at the same table as another person and yet be completely disconnected from them. I have been in a conversation with someone- even someone I like and have a relationship to – and been actively disconnecting from them, especially if the conversation feels intended to control or manipulate me. 

    I have seen examples of controlling parents whose children grow into very obedient, good kids and also clearly have little meaningful connection to their parents. Unfortunately I think many parents of the ideal obedient kids confuse good behavior and wanting to please with actual connection. I have seen this between horses and humans too. The more I’ve observed about connection the more amazed I am when a good connection is in place, and I’ve realized it is unfortunately rare both in human-human relationships and human-horse ones. 

    Real connection has to have choice, and cannot exist when there is fear of punishment. In humans or horses. The challenge I find is how fine the line can be separating consequences and boundaries from punishment, and indirect pressure from direct pressure. One way I discern in myself how I’m doing, is the concept that we only get two motivation choices in life: fear and love. Punishment and control comes from fear, consequences and true boundaries are rooted in love and have the primary goal of reconnecting when the connection is lost.

    Here Mia makes a choice to give Ilana a try. For a moment she is present and connected.

    Disconnection is painful and stressful within ourselves, the people around us, and with our horses. Unfortunately most of us have learned to live in that as a way of life- look at all the anxiety and stress we endure day to day. 

    This leads me to the number one factor I have found in getting better connection: above all things, do not fear — seek the truth.

    I write all of my blog posts from personal experience with the hope someone else might find it relatable and encouraging. If you experience this, you are not alone. I am getting better at accepting the bald faced truth as the years go on. In years past, I couldn’t always face the harsh reality and what it revealed about my shortcomings. I knew where I wanted to be and found myself looking for any tiny piece of evidence that I had already arrived, and built an alternate reality I preferred around those scraps.

    Today I know that the opposite has been more life changing: I look for all the places where things are not what I hope for, and I dig deeper to find out why and how to clean them up and grow. In those former seasons I can see I had less confidence that the direction I was walking would ever actually bring me to the place I believed it would, and I realize I had too much of my identity wrapped up in this hope being truth. If it didn’t pan out… surely everything would fall apart around me.

    Of course no one else out there reading this has probably ever realized they have way too much of their own identity wrapped up in something around a horse… the performance, success, good behavior, approval from others, ability to achieve a goal, etc. I’m sure that’s only me.

    Over time I learned the truth always sets me free and I don’t have the be afraid of it. There is no failure, only learning. Ironically, operating under the fear of failure and fear of what could really be happening, kept me from the connection I desired most. Fear always destroys connection, within human and horse relationships. I doubt I’m alone in noticing there is a LOT of fear between horses and humans- on all sides of the conversation.

    There is no failure- only learning

    That being said, for at least three years now, my understanding of connection has been the goal of all my work sessions with any horse. Ideally above anything other goal. I still miss the point sometimes and get distracted by achieving something especially if we are so close. Still, increasingly, my horses have begun to experience this approach as a way of life. 

    I’ve begun to take it for granted.

    Jaime waiting patiently for Wyoming to “come through” on a request by the reins to step her hind over. Giving the mare the time she needs to think and process and respond without increase in pressure or driving her around will build stronger trust and connection.

    Then something came to light last weekend during a clinic with Tom Moates here at Hope Horsemanship. I invited a teenage girl who has an unusual drive to go deeper with her horse journey, to work with Khaleesi. She had never been here before, and never met K. Her horse experience has been riding horses in multiple training barns in her home area mostly in eventing and jumping disciplines, as well as a few endurance rides. She does not currently have her own horse.

    We brought K to her in the arena and handed over the lead rope. This brave young girl stood in front of strangers having never met this horse, and never having worked with a horse in the manner we have been learning, and waited for some guidance of what to do.

    Tom walked her through some basic activities and she tried to execute the concepts with this stranger in front of her with four legs and a tail. She picked up the concepts quickly and did her best to go through some simple tasks. Sometimes she was coordinated with good timing and the clarity was rewarded with a beautiful execution. Sometimes she was slightly off, a bit clunky with the request and not as clear. These had less than ideal results. Regardless, K was available to the two legged stranger holding the lead rope and stayed clearly connected to her as they worked. 

    What I noticed as they worked together, was the connection I had been building in the horse was actually available to a stranger, as long as she approached the relationship in good faith and a similar mindset. It was not about the right buttons of a well trained horse. 

    The girl was attempting to ask K to walk a circle around her and could have accomplished that significantly faster by pushing Khaleesi’s nose out and driving her hind end with a rope tail. Walking a circle however was not the goal. The true goal was learning how to direct the horse’s thought, and how to do a thing together without creating disconnection. Driving the horse with pressure at the hind end, which engages the natural flight mode of the horse, which is in the sympathetic nervous system, which brings up adrenaline and worry, would have weakened the connection they had established. 

    I think about the times when someone used manipulation or threat to engage me in an activity. I can think of experiences where this was done subtly, in nice tones, or even making it sound like it’s a good deal for me. I still feel the intent behind it and though I may decide to comply because it’s probably in my best interest, I don’t feel great about the relationship. Even at a low level, I know when I’m being threatened or manipulated. Horses do too. Driving the horse, EVEN IF it only took a small amount of pressure, comes with a different feeling from the horse. This quick response looks more impressive to an undiscerning audience. The ego likes a quick response, even at the cost of the connection.

    The pair did magnificently, though the session was slightly boring to an onlooker, and I wondered if it may have been boring to a teenager. We often joke that good horsemanship is about as exciting as watching paint dry.  The girl had a really beautiful session and clearly Khaleesi was relaxed and connected to her through the entire hour. Curious to know the truth of how she felt about the potentially boring work, I asked her directly later in the day. I was pleased and a little surprised as she bubbled over with joy. Her words were:

    “I loved it! I’ve never felt what it was like to have that kind of real connection with a horse before.”

    The girl was not short on various experiences with many horses. She had ridden multiple horses in various disciplines over years already, enjoyed grooming time with some, spent quiet time in pasture with domestic herds, had to count on an equine partner to navigate jumps and ride 25 and 50 mile endurance rides, and it was this horse she only had just met once where she saw a new potential in what was possible.

    I was particularly pleased to see the long term shift in my own approach to my horses created an availability for connection that transferred to a stranger- even one “uneducated” to my way of working. I was reminded not to take that beautiful truth for granted. This kind of real connection is an amazing gift, between humans, but even more between humans and animals. I think it’s what we are wired for and desire above all else.

    Tom working to help Breeze let down his tension and concerns, to connect in softness, and be guided around the barrels

    All around us, when true connection eludes us, we still deeply desire it. This brings confusion and displacement. We will settle for a poor substitute trying to convince ourselves it’s the real thing: obedience, control, achievement, positive outcomes at any cost. I have been guilty of mistaking those things for connection or trying to find connection with those around me through them. In this model, it’s like the horse has to “disappear” for our demands, and if they comply we think all is well. 

    There is an opposite swing equally problematic. In trying to fix my tendency to force things to happen, I swung through phases of letting my horse lead too much of the relationship. I spent time only listening to the horse, and accepting all of their input without showing up to question, lead, or direct. When I was in that mode, I “disappeared” and didn’t show up authentically to participate in the connection. Horses are desperately seeking good leadership. Over time in this mode, I see horses become harder and harder to interact with and manage. It’s confusing I believe when we “show up” physically but don’t “show up” in a meaningful way. When we pull horses into a human world and put them in our care, we owe it to them to lead and direct them in a way that honors them and is not afraid of meeting them in the connection with our own honest best. 

    The entire process begins when we are honest about our fears and face them. Fear isn’t bad or good- it is an indicator. If you are afraid of your horse, be real about it. There is a reason and there is a path forward. Maybe the horse has real issues that need higher level of experience to address in order to bring the anxiety level down to something more safe to work with. Sometimes our fears are that we will fail, and the horse ends up carrying all of that counterproductive weight. Sometimes the fears are completely unfounded and not based in reality, but in past experiences that never got cleaned up and dealt with.  Those past experiences have to be dealt with inside our own minds and hearts in order to show up fully in the present, available to connection with the horse in front of us. 

    Jaime & Wyoming in a good moment together, Wyoming is soft and relaxed and present both mentally and physically

    Fear can be valuable, and the truth sets us free. 

    This is the journey to connection. The great thing is, it’s available to everyone. The stronger we become in addressing fears, walking in freedom, and the confidence to love without fear, the more we have to offer those around us- horses and humans alike!

    The photos in this blog post are all courtesy of Christian Andrew (Christian Marsh Photography) who was visiting with us one day of the clinic. Christian is working on a book featuring Tom Moates. Stay tuned for more information on that project!

  • Mind the Gap

    Mind the Gap

    Life around Hope Horsemanship after the Vermont trip has not slowed down much but it has changed tracks. Khaleesi has been on a work break due to a broken saddle and some trailer repairs that surfaced unexpectedly. These have take over a month to get sorted out and the saddle and trailer are both repaired and ready to go.

    Meanwhile I have gone back to the round pen, and made some nutritional adjustments for Khaleesi. I have had a harder time than usual keeping weight on her this season and through testing, found some mineral deficiencies that I’ve adjusted. I also took a step back to realize the severe drought we had in our area the last two years have meant finding quality hay was tough. Though I was thankful we always had hay to feed, I have noticed with this year’s new hay- now enjoying rain and sun – the quality is markedly better, and now going on two months of feeding it along with a month of supplementing missing nutrients, she is looking more like her old self again. 

    As for the round pen, it has been nice to take some time with what I consider my “oldest child,” the solid one I count on. I started Khaleesi as a four-year old with basic “natural horsemanship” that included a lot of drive/draw methods and today I am looking at how that worked out. Many would say it worked great. She is obedient and compliant to the task at hand, and I don’t have problems that are safety concerns. Because of this, I spend less time checking in with her and finding quality time to test our connection and relationship. Yet, what we have is significantly less than what I want with her. I hope for a willing connected relationship where we work together and the process does not cause her to shut down and “get it done” so she can go back to the rest of her happy life that does not include me.

    Khaleesi unsure I have anything to offer her…
    K lets down for a moment and finds peace with an imperfect human

    Khaleesi is a more independent and confident horse than Wyoming, and that is helpful, but also comes with a downside. Our history together has been my own growth journey, and for much of it I haven’t been the same leader I am today. In our history, I have not been the consistent leader she would look to for peace and protection.  She seems to think she’s covering that on her own most of the time. Like an oldest child who grew up with new parents trying to figure it out and doing their best…

    Today, however, I continue to deepen my understanding and experience. I am developing patience, clarity, and confidence, and these play into the leadership an independent mare can recognize. This break we had from so much riding and physical training opened some opportunity to reconnect in a better way.

    This brings me to the gap that Harry Whitney talks about. 

    (My best paraphrase follows): 

    Humans have the ability to learn not only by experience, but by observing or gaining understanding. This means we get a concept or see something is possible before we have the ability to do it ourselves in practice. This is a gap between what we want to do and what we can do. We experiment, and try, and grow, and we become more able to replicate what we want to see, and that’s good. However while this is happening, during the closing of the gap between what we envision and what we can accomplish, the understanding begins to creep up with new possibility and we push the bar farther out of what we want to do — always beyond what we are capable of. This is how we keep growing, and it’s a good thing. However, if you’re not careful, you’ll get discouraged because you know what you want to see and it isn’t what is happening. You need to find a way to remind yourself of where you’ve been, not only looking forward to where you want to be. There will always be a gap of where you are and where you want to be. That’s good. But remember where you’ve been and how far you’ve come or you can get really discouraged in this process.

    This reminder hit home once again on the last day of the Floyd Harry Whitney Clinic (hosted by Tom Moates). I can see that I am continually becoming a leader that Khaleesi can trust and let down increasing layers of protection built in during the early years when I was working in a driving mode. She can only find transformation through experience. I can’t tell her I’m trying to learn better ways. Well I do actually sometimes tell her… but she won’t know it until I carry those better ways consistently into our work together, and not fall back on the expedient things that get it done quicker, and driving a horse is expedient…

    Harry, Dory, Jaime & Kevin (From the Akhal-Teke Foundation) on the last day of clinic in Floyd, VA

    I am changing. Each year I am learning to operate differently and resting increasingly in the truth that I want the process over the product. Each year I care less about the speed of the outcome and more about the quality of it. I still have to apologize to my horse from time to time, but it’s less often. I believe the future of the relationship I am building with Khaleesi is going to be better than our past. Even as I keep seeing more growth available ahead of me.

    This gap doesn’t only exist in a horsemanship journey. It is real for all people in all things we take on in life. It’s true for hobbies, relationships, health, work and career, and personal growth. I am somehow programmed with a love for this gap and diving into the gap keeps me getting out of bed some mornings. Depending on the area of my life, it also makes me not want to get out of bed some mornings! But I actually love the gap because if we aren’t growing and increasing our capacity, what are we doing? 

    I have also come to see not everyone loves the gap. And I can see relationships gone sideways because I didn’t understand that at times- and have a little more compassion for those who find the gap exhausting and frustrating. I suppose finding this insight, even if it’s later in life, is also growth. I am grateful for the people who have been patient with me as I dive headlong into the gap year after year seeking to pursue the thing that will never be achieved this side of the grave. It takes a special kind of companion on the journey to swim in that stream and those who are either in the pace boat or swimming along, I say thank you! Regardless of how much I love the process, it cannot be done alone. 

    Wyoming is feeling better about working together each session

    Today the year is more than half over already and some of the big milestones have been hit or missed. As I look ahead I have some ideas to press into Khaleesi’s potential for next year and we plan to finish the 2025 season at the Fort Valley ride in October. My continued confidence in the process is bringing nice changes in the work with Wyoming, and I will continue to post up some work videos that include the good, the bad, and some of the ugly in our sessions. I am also enjoying the partnership with the Akhal-Teke Foundation and the horse I worked in the Harry Whitney Clinic this year was one of their young mares, Swan Ysk Doretmek (Dory). I was able to put on Dory’s first rides at the end of the clinic under Harry’s guidance, and I’m continuing the work with her back in Lexington. 

    First Ride on Dory under the guidance of Harry Whitney

    The Hope Horsemanship HQ continues to expand within the confines of our tiny horse farm footprint, and Matt is building a tiny rustic cabin that will offer housing for those who are looking to come onsite. We are building some experience frameworks for all ages of people with horses and people without them who want to see what transformation is available when we leave our fears and anxiety behind. 

    Matt and our nephew working on the Transformation Lodge foundation

    We hope to be onsite in the HHHQ the weekend of October 4-5 here in Bath County, VA for one of our fun and fabulous Tom Moates clinics if the spaces fill. We have openings for both horse participants and auditors for those who are swimming to gap and want to improve the quality of their horsemanship work alongside us! Contact Jaime@HopeHorsemanship.com to reserve a spot or get confirmation the clinic is happening for auditors.

    Tom Moates at a recent clinic explaining a concept to a participant in the round pen

    If you want to see the work with Wyoming, the YouTube channel is live, and the last three videos from a recent work session (before Harry’s clinic) is available here: Foundations Playlist

    Stay tuned, we’re always swimming the gap, and looking for others in the gap community to encourage and find connection with. Don’t forget to look back once in a while to remember just how far you’ve come. In the words of Ronnie Moyer: It’s direction, not perfection that counts!

  • Path to Vermont Series: Change the way you think

    Path to Vermont Series: Change the way you think

    A local newspaper here in my town has picked up an article series I’m writing about the process of getting a horse and rider prepared for a 100 mile ride. I’m going to repost this (third in the series) article here and remind anyone within driving distance that we’re having our first Roving Clinic of 2025 this weekend, March 22-23, 2025. The fun bonus of this clinic is my amazing husband has been working tirelessly to create a space for us to come together right here on my own land. I had been looking around for a place to do more education events, and Matt looked around and said: let’s just get started here!

    Turns out, he is right! We may be small, but we are a community of powerful horse people who are committed to changing the way we think and helping our horses change the way they think as well. We love to add to the family, and we aren’t “cliquey” – we have a wide variety of people who come to participate and to watch, observe, and learn.

    Now, without further delay, here is the third article about the horse’s mind and why it meant so much to me in my endurance journey.

    It’s amazing how many endurance miles Khaleesi and I have completed without her having a forward thought. I suppose that reveals how much one can force a horse through on sheer willpower and drive. Early on, as I was learning to work with horses, I learned a lot about driving horses around. No, I don’t mean in a truck! I mean the energy or force applied to make a horse move away from pressure. To ride any horse on the most basic level, you have to communicate effectively that a horse go forward, and have the horse do so in response. In my experience, most people approach this by driving the horse. The reason this is such a common approach is probably because it is so effective. Yet, I have since learned you can drive a horse forward without the horse having a forward thought, and this is actually a problem!

    Horses are prey animals and come with the built in response of: run away first, ask questions later. It is pretty easy to get a horse to flee from pressure, however, we don’t actually want them to run away, so we also have to contain them. Generally we do this with a halter and rope, or a round pen. The message is: flee, move, evade, but also, you’re trapped. It’s not a stretch to imagine most horses don’t feel very good about this kind of work. I am now amazed at how many horses do become obedient and responsive to the pressure. I do not think I was alone in mistakenly thinking my horse was doing great with this system.

    I flew across the country a couple winters back to watch Harry Whitney work horses in California. He says that it is good to learn what motions come with a horse’s emotions. Due to the prevalence of working horses in this driving pressure system, it has become less common to see what a horse looks like physically when they are truly relaxed and confident in their work with humans. This was true for me. I remember seeing quick, snappy, obedient responses to my requests, I was sure the horse was happy and life was good. Looking back, I understand now that my horses were moving in tension and avoidance, not soft responsiveness. Their bodies were rigid, braced, and tense.

    This may seem like a tangent for an article series about an endurance team heading to a 100 mile race, but it’s one of the most important things I discovered that led to increasing success at this sport. 

    When driving a horse “away” from pressure, the horse’s attention is on the thing it is fleeing from. If I want my horse to run freely forward over the many miles, I need my horse to be thinking about going forward, not thinking about what is driving from behind. Using the sympathetic nervous system to propel a horse (even at a walk) adds adrenaline to the system which is supposed to be for emergency use only. To compile trouble from the driving approach, the horse is also trying to avoid punishment as he/she anticipates a tap or kick and braces against that force as well. 

    This means a horse driven forward is carrying some level of tension. Strength in movement comes through relaxation, flexibility, and good form. Working for extended time and intensity in tension brings diminished performance and increased injuries. These can be metabolic, like a heart rate that cannot drop for the vet check, or lameness from sustained tension in muscles and joints. This kind of lameness is difficult to diagnose because it doesn’t come from an obvious injury.

    Once again, I speak from experience. For a couple years I wrestled with a mystery intermittent lameness in Khaleesi. I took an entire season off from competing after some disappointing events where we did not complete due to lameness pulls. The trouble was, no one could pinpoint the problem and how to fix it. I had professionals check her hooves and legs, and shoulders, to no avail. I had radiographs done on her feet to see if she had unusually thin soles or signs of arthritis. She had no evidence of problems in the tendons or joints. The lameness would show up both with and without saddle; it would randomly appear when asked to trot on a line or around a circle.

    The reason I now believe it was a result of many miles moving in tension, is because I still find it today, though it is very rare. If I address her thought, the lameness dissolves instantly. In those early years, we were severely lacking a forward thought. I am now convinced a lot of physical problems are a product of the mind resisting the work, which creates brace in the body, leading to physical injuries that are difficult to diagnose and treat.

    After spending some time with Harry Whitney and Tom Moates, I came to understand what a major factor the horse’s thought is. I am amazed at the things that will improve when the mental system comes into alignment. When I began to work with this understanding, it brought the final key that changed our endurance team to stronger finishes and eventually completing our first 100 mile event. 

    Modern horse training, for the most part, teaches people to drive a horse first from the ground by adding pressure to the horse’s hind end. We chase the horse with the tail of a rope or a flag.  Eventually, we move into the saddle and drive either with legs to kick or a crop to tap. Anyone who is about to be kicked or tapped is going to brace in anticipation. That brace in the body acts like a brake, making it hard to move easily. You can drive using the gas and brake at the same time. It works, but is there a better way?

    A better way?

    I want to create a desire for my horse to move freely toward something. Helping a horse create a forward thought is more complex than chasing it to run away from pressure. Once I was able to see the difference of a horse moving in relaxation and strength, I could not “unsee” it. I knew this was the way my horse could have longevity and success in her sport.

    I hear a lot of talk regarding the necessity of moving a horse’s feet. Strangely enough, we rarely put a rope on the feet to ride. We put a halter on the horse’s head and use a lead rope, or a bridle and reins. I’m pretty sure we do this because the horse’s brain is housed there. While I have seen people get a horse to move it’s feet without it’s brain engaged in the same movement, this is not a horse I want to be attached to in any way! I don’t want to crank on a horse’s head for steering, and then drive it with pressure from behind to go. With strong enough levers applied, it can create compliance, but there are some horses who never break into this obedience. These non compliant types become the “problem horses” no one wants to work with. Their future is bleak as they fight against a pressure that does not make sense to them and become dangerous, sometimes even aggressive. Yet, even for the many horses who comply with the driving pressure system, their performance doesn’t compare to the brilliance of a horse who is present and engaged mentally in their work. 

    Khaleesi was, thankfully, a compliant type horse, and I spent years driving her before I knew there was a better way. She was smart enough to get out of punishment by doing what I wanted, but it showed up in her body over time. When I learned how to work with her mind and change her thoughts toward something, I saw the change in her body too. We are now erasing the brace and tension she used to carry, and the flexible strength we are developing is really encouraging. 

    This is a process I really enjoy. I’m still collecting tools on how to get my horse to think forward on down the trail. When that slightly lame gait appears, I don’t panic that a lameness injury is imminent. I shift my approach to get her mind thinking down the road, and when her mind straightens out, so do her legs. It’s amazing!

    This approach of working with horses is not only good for an endurance team, it has become a way of life, and the community around it is creative and engaging! It changes everything we do together from leading on the ground, loading in a trailer, getting better transitions, and certainly getting over a jump. If you want to join us to see it in action, we are meeting in Bath and Highland Counties the weekend of March 22-23. Contact me at Jaime@hopehorsemanship.com for schedule, location, and details. Tom Moates will be working with us and our horses, and he always has some books on hand that make great resources for further understanding on starting with a horse’s thought. 

  • What we don’t say: RESPECT

    What we don’t say: RESPECT

    I’ve heard we all have personal algorithms that are used to feed us opportunities and advertisements that align with our interests. One might imagine I get a lot of horse related nudges anytime I’m grazing the internet. One would be right. 

    Something occurred to me as I read through the ad copy, target written to sell me something. I noticed a few buzz topics, words I remember having a certain weight in past years, and as I read, I pondered: I haven’t had a conversation about some of these things in quite a while. In fact, is it my imagination, or are they missing in the horse community I’ve settled into? As I read questions like: How is your ground work game? Or Does your horse respect you? It was a bit like hearing about someone I used to know well and thinking: hey, yeah, what is she up to now anyway? It’s been forever since we’ve talked.

    I love words. Words matter to me. Sloppy language bothers me. Sometimes I fail at getting just the right word, but I try to express as clearly as possible what I want to communicate, and I spend time and effort to do so. It’s common for communities and industries to share language- terms that to insiders, have particularly meaning often deeper than the surface definition. I love that the current group of horsemanship enthusiasts I have found myself in community with seem to have a similar interest in using words that best express what we intend and not using words that carry a layer we don’t intend.

    One such word I noticed was:

    RESPECT

    I was following a conversation about a horse disrespecting the handler, and realized the “respect peg” was not on my brain wall where I’d last noticed it. Do you think about having “pegs” to hand ideas and information on? I know it’s hard to take in information if there’s no “peg” for it, you have to sometimes start by creating one when learning new things. Once you have a peg, or some might imagine it more like a drawer or a file… you need somewhere to house the information and process it. I think of pegs to hang a concept on. When I read these conversations and questions regarding a horse respecting or disrespecting a human I thought it should have a peg. I have had plenty of past conversations about respect or disrespect in horses, this isn’t new to me, but as I scanned, sure enough, the respect peg was missing. Where had it gone? I hadn’t remembered pulling it out. It was now glaringly absent from my current process of working with horses. That’s odd, I thought. Is this on purpose? Or have I simply not noticed it?

    I put the thought to one of my horse education mentors with the question: is it just me, or do we not talk about “respect” with our horses in this community? 

    No… it wasn’t just me, we don’t tend to use that word. 

    We don’t use the term respect because both respect and disrespect add a layer of emotion that is probably not accurate for the horses in question most of the time. Horses rarely show disrespect in the same way that humans do. In our cultural usage, to disrespect contains a sense of offense or insult. Adding that layer unnecessarily brings an emotion to the table that gets in the way of helping the horse and human find a better connection.

    Horses do have emotional systems. Horses do have feelings, preferences and opinions, however horses are far less inclined to make things personal than humans. When we assign these more human attitudes, we add problems that are not real. This is why our horse community tends to move away from the words respect and disrespect. I don’t think that means it’s impossible for a horse to show disrespect, only that it’s much more rare than the horse world at large seems to believe.

    I took a moment to consider what horse behaviors have been categorized as disrespect in circles from my past. It looked like a horse that invades personal space, possibly stepping on someone, or even runs them over, or ignores a handler completely when their attention is required. None of those behaviors is acceptable, but are they disrespect? 

    I thought about a child and a mom walking in the mall, and something takes the child’s attention (it could be a distraction like an inviting toy store, or a fear, like someone particularly scary looking) and this causes the child to lose track of mom, and run into her, maybe even trip her while walking. Most people would not berate the child for being disrespectful. Probably they would give a short lecture on paying attention and keeping better track of their surroundings- including not walking into people. Some moms would never have gotten tripped because they are prone to notice when the child is becoming distracted and are always three steps ahead. That mom might bring the child’s attention back before the wreck even happens.

    I remember being in a round pen with Khaleesi while Harry Whitney watched us interact. She walked off from me, then paused to smell a poop pile from a previous horse. I was trying to get something done together and she completely checked out on me. She doesn’t tend to run me over, we’ve clarified that pretty well over the years, but in some circles this complete disregard could easily be interpreted as disrespect. Harry observed: Right now that poop pile is of more importance to your horse than you are… I’d probably do something about that.

    That line still rings in my mind and makes me smile. It comes back to me in what appears on the surface to be very different scenarios, but at the core they are the same problem. My horse is more in tune to a poop pile has a similar root issue as another horse about to trample me because of a distraction that took her full attention leaving me of very little importance. In either scenario the problem is that the horse mentally severed our connection and made something else of higher importance. This is not offensive, it simply needs to be addressed. I do not need to add an emotional layer that my horse has just insulted me, rather do something to remind the horse that I need to be the most important thing in her world right now. If she stays mentally present- with me – she is aware of me, and she is not likely to run me over, drag me off, or step on me.

    Ideally I want to find ways to keep the connection, not instill fear. For a prey animal, fear is easy to conjure and use. It takes more thought, creativity, and attention to draw into something that feels good than to drive with something that creates a threat. When we don’t give our horses a reason to stay connected, it is not surprising they are more concerned with their environment and disconnect with us in order to connect with something they think IS important. This can look like keeping tabs on a lawn mower in the next field, or eating grass as we try to walk from barn to arena, or calling to it’s buddy who brings a higher sense of security than we provide.

    In that round pen, as my horse smelled the poop pile, I had some options, this time I banged my flag on the ground next to me. I did not chase her with it or direct it at her as a threat. I used the flag to make an unexpected sound in the environment to interrupt her thought about the poop and get her to ask what was that? It would be similar to yelling hey there! to someone whose attention I was looking for across the yard. I am learning what it means to be of importance to my horse, and hopefully without my horse feeling constantly threatened by me. I want to give my horse repeated experiences that connection with me is the best place to be. I want my horse to find peace, security, and confidence there. This process assumes that I exhibit those things myself (peace and confidence), and I am developing myself to be a leader sufficient for my horse’s needs. Horses are wired to seek a leader they find sufficiently competent to follow. The definition of sufficiently competent can vary widely between horses. That’s an entirely other wormhole for another day.

    Is this about respect? I suppose it depends on your own sense of that word. If respect simply means to you that someone else gives you consideration and attention, and stays in connection so you can work together, then I suppose the word is not a problem. But if you find yourself singing along with Aretha about R-E-S-P-E-C-T… find out what it means to me, and with that word you have shades of offense or insult, it is likely creating a dynamic that won’t help either of you sort out the behavior issues in question.

    Some may eye roll and say it’s about semantics- it’s all the same thing. Some will hold onto the term as a useful way to describe unwanted horse behaviors, but I think my work with the horses around me has become more productive without it. Today if I have an issue with a horse invading my space or checking out, I’m more likely to see it as a lack of attention and connection, and find something that works to bring back the focus and connection in as little threat language as I can.

    If I’m back in the mall with the child who gets distracted, I might call their name in a regular speaking voice and when they check in with me, crisis is averted. However if the child is in the yard and gets focused on a ball across the street and I notice a truck approaching, I might have to get pretty big, yell in a firm voice, and even seem threatening in order to get their attention back. I’ve seen some horses who have become really good at tuning out humans and protecting their disconnection as if their lives depend on it. I’ve seen Harry Whitney get pretty big in his efforts to get that horse to snap into the present and consider making a better choice. The goal, however, is always to bring the horse to a safe place, a place of peace where they feel good about the connection and seek it out- not for fear, but because they feel better there. 

    I can see why we don’t address horses’ disrespect and I had not noticed the concept was missing. We just don’t see truly disrespectful horses very often. I may have never yet seen one in person. We see horses who have strong thoughts about things other than the work we want to do. We see horses who have left their mind with their herd, or the last place they felt safe. We see horses who are afraid, possibly in pain, or don’t believe they can be at peace when connecting with a human. These are the things we begin addressing, and we see what we can do to bring a change for the better. I suppose until I see a horse that is truly disrespectful, I’ll just keep on addressing the problems as they stand and see where it leads, and I’ll leave that respect peg off the wall until I find a need for it.

  • The Winter of Discontent…

    The Winter of Discontent…

    Winter is terrible and beautiful. I love the quiet, and the landscapes of snow and ice formations are stunning to look at… for a time, however when this frozen landscape drags on for “too” long it becomes the winter of my discontent!

    This year our endurance activities are coming back into focus alongside the community that has been forming around horsemanship clinics and whole horse approach to having powerful partners in whatever we do. After a long winding journey to get through a single-day 100 mile ride, I took some time off and this winter finally, after a little space, have gone back to revisit the long-running blog greento100 from the beginning. 

    The upside is being able to recognize growth. Growth in my writing (the early blogs were hard even for me to slog through), growth in my approach to both the horses and the people around me, growth in my understanding of how to help a horse develop and prepare for a goal… the downside is looking back to the 10-year-ago me and seeing the view before the growth! I’m exhausted from spending so much time with her lately… she was hard to be around. I’m grateful for the ones who saw the potential of who I could be, and gave me the space to develop, and stuck with me through the process. 

    This year, as the future path comes into focus, I’m both excited and much more relaxed about the journey. I saw my desperation as an early endurance rider to find the commonly accepted riding calendars and mileage and speed goals to preparing a horse and the constant pressure I felt to do my part. I feel much less pressure now- even after almost a year between my last competition event and our first one to come, with much less riding in between. I am picking up in the most challenging time to add fitness in the mountains: Winter. To add a layer, it’s a particularly tough winter due to lingering snow that has meant a lot of ice and really hard snow crust that can irritate a horse’s lower legs if too much time is spent crunching through it. The risk versus reward equation looks different to me now than it did ten years ago.

    This year I look outside when the temps are below zero and the ice layer is thickening and I add a log to the fire, go back over more old blog posts in order to understand where I’ve been, and figure we will get out there, when it’s time. I’m far less worried about miles and miles per hour today. I have learned that over training is a thing, and as I review my endurance beginnings, I see it’s a thing I once did too well!

    Still, not getting any exercise is an equally poor plan, so I take a day here and there when the weather cooperates enough to make the risks less adverse and we either go for an in-hand hike up the hollow or if it’s favorable enough saddle up to get into the woods from home. I am very fortunate to have options right from my doorstep and am grateful for them because my trailer is snowed in for going on three weeks now.

    While there is less happening externally, I’m focused on some internal things. I am looking for a framework over which to tell the Green to 100 story- if there is one – in a way that entertains and enlightens. It has also timely for me as I begin a new adventure to visit how the old one began, and remember the things I would not do again. I am living proof that Ronnie Moyer is right when he says: Change IS possible!

    I am pretty excited about the year to come. The community around PowerfulHorse is organically beginning to form and I truly enjoy the family that is coming together around this approach to horse life. We will be sharing time this year around some horsemanship clinics as usual, but I am working on some fun bonus days to meet with other professionals such as Stephanie from Indigo Ancestral Health, Deb from Optimal Posture, Dr. Hancock (Osteopathy) from True North Equine, and USDF Dressage Bronze Medalist Mattalyn Rogers who has shifted from a very successful dressage career to exploring how to do better for the horse combining her dressage experience with the horsemanship experience that aligns with our approach based on more thought and freedom and less force and pressure. 

    So as January turns (a bit too) slowly toward a close, I greet you dear reader with a warm spirit, for those who have journeyed long and far with me- a thank you for your grace and patience. For those who are newer- an energetic welcome and my own expectation that this connection should require slightly less grace and patience than some of the long timers. I am also excited that our local newspaper has invited me to share our current journey to the Vermont 100 with the local community in a print series, so I’ll be doing a bit more writing than usual!

    And so I am spending more time by the wood stove, with my new favorite camping blanket and my laptop, but also ramping up my gym time because I have lost fitness in the last year that I spent falling in love, getting married, and dealing with some personal health challenges along the way. It was a good year for rest and celebration! Now we have work to do and the gym seems a good place to start while the world around me is iced over. 

    Meanwhile I look for the few days above freezing and where the terrain is less crusty or slick or deep and get a little riding in. I’ve been posting some videos of us out in the wild on our YouTube channel so you can check those out if you’re also frozen in the house this January!

    Stay tuned, and invite some friends to the party! I love the family that is coming together – everyone on their own adventure – finding a place to share the stories and learn from each other. Currently we are an in-person ragtag bunch that come together around horses, clinics and good food, but I foresee an online group will be hatched as well to help us stay connected during the “in between” times, and include some who cannot get to in person events. I will keep events updated on the PowerfulHorse.com site and we invite new friends to come, even without a horse, to enjoy the camaraderie and discussions of ideas and approaches.

    Now… to get off the couch and get outside, it’s one of those above freezing days, and I have to get to work later!

  • Does my horse love me?

    Does my horse love me?

    I love my horse, but I’ve been asking the question recently: Does my horse love me? Followed by the related questions of do horses love anywhere near the way humans think of love? Does it matter? Can we be friends? What DO I want from my horse and what can I give her? What is best for her needs as a creature in my care?

    I came across an article by Australian horseman Ross Jacobs (Why Can’t I be my Horse’s Best Friend?) where he considered if we are looking for horses to fill an unreasonable expectation of relationship, or if we expect to fill an unreasonable relational position in their world. 

    Today, horses rarely exist as a necessity for our daily lives. Few of us rely on them for life and livelihood. Most of us keep horses by choice for enjoyment. We might participate in an equine sport, trail ride for pleasure, or even use our horses in some chore or farm job, but rarely do we in the developed west depend on them for primary travel or farm work. Most people I know who have horses care for them as a large outdoor pet. Most people I know love their horses. Regardless of the actual statistics, I don’t think I’m alone in saying I love my horses and admitting the desire for my horses to be my friend. 

    With an animal so different from a human, is this possible to the extent I wish it? How would I measure this friendship? Is it a reasonable wish?

    I am also a dog person. Dogs already have the nickname of “man’s best friend” and there must be a reason we gave that title to the dog and not the horse. One thing we share with the canine is the predator nature. We both work for food, and have the instinct to survive by overcoming and climbing as close to the top of the food chain as possible. Horses are not like us, in fact they are naturally a direct opposite of us in how they perceive and process their environment and how they go about their day.

    My dog Samwise really is my little buddy. He regularly chooses to be close to me, he is always excited when I come home. When I sit in the mornings to read and write with my coffee, he always comes and sits as close as possible, if he isn’t touching me he isn’t close enough. If he engages in a behavior that disconnects our relationship he is quick to repent and is always seeking to reestablish connection. These are evidence for my case that Sam is a kind of animal friend to me.

    Samwise and Peggy Sue cuddled up by the warm fire… friends!

    When I look at horses, they don’t generally want to touch each other, at least not unless there is a reason- usually being the need to correct a horse for inappropriate behavior. Occasionally there are mutual grooming sessions, but this seems more like meeting a need than the dog attribute of laying close together in a puppy snuggle pile.

    I am certain horses are capable of thought and emotion. I don’t know how complex these systems get. I believe horses don’t lie, and they don’t plot and scheme together for future barn take overs. I don’t believe they think over how to complicate life for us on the next trail ride. They learn by experience what works out for them and what does not. They are fabulous at observing and learning patterns and can be incredibly smart when it comes to connecting and even chaining together patterns. I believe as prey animals, they are wired to flee problems, discomfort and imbalances in their environment in order to survive another day. I also think horses have preferences and distinct personalities.

    What would it look like for a horse to love a person? I remember Iva talking about her experiences at various local schooling barns as a young teen. She has a quiet spirit and has always been keenly observant. She told me that she would look around at the horses and the horse girls and see them cooing about how much their horse loves them and to her eye it seemed clear to her that the horse was rather uncomfortable or unhappy in their time together. Horses are subtle creatures. Would a twelve year old girl who wanted to believe her horse loved her and was her friend be able to tell if this were actually true? Do we still do this as horse girls grown up? Do we really want to know?

    This essay by Ross Jacobs grabbed my attention because I had been thinking about my own connection to Khaleesi and how it has developed over time. I started her from an unhandled four year old without much human baggage, but she has still had about four different owners in her fifteen years, all of them being me. She was my first horse to start as a filly and the process of growing up with her certainly impacted me, and I’ve experimented with a few different horsemanship avenues along the years that have impacted how she felt about spending time with me. 

    In my earliest years with owning horses as an adult, I remember considering my first horse (Faygo) my friend, therapist, confident, and adventure buddy. Today I see that was an immature starting point of understanding these majestic creatures and how we might relate in a way that is good for both them as us. 

    Now I cringe at the memes that claim horses are therapists. In fairness I know it is therapeutic to be in nature and it has helped me grow as a human being to understand my horse and how we relate on a more simplified relational level and truth about myself has been revealed in the process. So if you would champion those truths as a reason to call horses “therapy” then I stand with you. However I can’t get behind the practice of subjecting my horse to carrying my emotional baggage for the long term, and fix heart issues I don’t want to put the work in to resolve. I attempt to bring my honest, best self to work with my horse as I want to see her honest best as well. In nature, horses do not want other horses in their herds who have emotional instability, and I think it’s quite rare in nature. Emotional instability is inherently dangerous to survival. I think most emotional instability in horses we see comes from experiences with humans.

    As I ponder the behavior of my main working horse, Khaleesi, I have been on a journey to increasing her freedom and choice within the confines of the fact that we always have limitations within our freedom, and every choice comes with consequences. Still, I have been letting go of trained pattern auto-pilot behaviors (push-buttons) in favor of as conversational real-time communication as I can get between two such different creatures and she and me. What is the impact of this between us? I will admit I do not think that horses (or dogs for that matter) have the kind of love that humans are able to engage in, however I want my animals to want to spend time with me. I am not sure if I would call this friendship today with my horse, but I certainly want a solid positive connection. 

    What does this look like? Maybe take a moment and ponder this yourself and consider your own answer? 

    Would it look like her coming right over to me in the pasture when I arrive? Seeking to be close to me when I’m in her space? Putting her head in the halter ready to go do something together? As I look at my short list, I see they are all physical signs. 

    What is the reality of our experience? It varies. If I don’t have a halter she is often curious because usually I have some form of food. She comes right to me when I’m carrying hay or a warm meal. Is this friendship and connection? Possibly! But it’s not about me, it’s friendship and connection with hay and feed!

    When I do have a halter, sometimes she stands in place while I approach her and when she is ready she always dips her head at least slightly into the noseband. But some days she runs around like a maniac and kicks out her hind legs with clear messages of: NO! I’m not going with you right now. If I am not clearly carrying food, she almost never approaches me looking to go into the halter and see what I had in mind. I think there are times in years gone by this horse was more reliable and easier to catch in the field. That was when I had more training and conditioned responses built in. Is this good or bad? What is behind these behaviors?

    I do know horses like patterns. When I had the approach of more natural horsemanship, direct pressure driving, and there’s right answer- let me increase the pressure until you give it to me, I think she was slightly more likely to be caught sooner. Maybe horses appreciate the confidence of a right answer and a conditioned response they don’t have to engage in thinking. Humans are not much different in that respect. Apparently most of us spend a vastly higher percentage of formulative conversations than generative ones. We prefer the how are you? I’m fine thanks for asking… exchanges. We get uncomfortable if someone takes what is supposed to be a formulative and quick exchange and turn it into a generative conversation that is less predictable. And yet there is almost no true connection in a formulative conversation. Connection is more time consuming and risky. I find myself drawn to generative conversations and a generative life. Maybe some horses find the formula, rules and auto-pilot way of life a bit simpler. Maybe my horse, on some days, would rather stand at peace in the sun than have to work out together how to get something done. Is that so wrong? 

    Maybe even that assessment is too complex. When we set up patterned behavior and horses learn that compliance is the best path, they seem to be agreeable. They don’t have much freedom of thought or choice when we enter the picture. If we have a halter, they answer is go with the person and do the things. Conditioned response learned from patterns in experience. I do think horses some horses who are trained to respond in a way an owner prefers is seen as the horse being willing or being a buddy/friend. It may or may not be true if the horse has learned this is the response that means less trauma. They can respond with the “right” answer and still not feel very good about it and still have their mind over with their buddies in the sunshine. I’ve found the horses are actually pretty good at pretending to be present where the body is, going on autopilot, but actually having their mind somewhere else. This works out ok, until it doesn’t! Easy, simple, and routine doesn’t mean bad or good. In any relationship, lack of conflict does not equal strong connection. Of course regular conflict does not equate a good or strong connection either.

    On the other hand, the horse who does always approach me in the field regardless if I have food, a halter, or a rake to clean the run in, is Wyoming. For many years I could assure you this horse was NOT my friend and we did not have a good connection. I would guess she approached me because I was an invader of their space and their current life situation and she had the curiosity to find out why and possibly intervene if she could. This horse taught me that the act of approaching in the field was not an indicator that the horse wanted to be my friend. We have come a long way, she and me, toward a more positive relationship, but it’s in her nature to come greet me whenever I enter the field, where its’s still Khaleesi’s quieter nature to watch me from a distance and conserve her energy as she stands in the sun or munches on hay. 

    Some horses simply seem to have different personalities and different ways of reacting. I’ve known some people who are constantly looking for a different horse, sometimes they finally seem to find one that suits them. I think they have in mind what a “good horse” is like, and the horse that fits that mold in how they approach the world is the type of horse that will work for them. 

    What about the days when Khaleesi stands quietly as I come in with a halter and then when I approach her, hold out my hand and she touches with her nose briefly, and then waits while I step over to her neck and offers the halter- she lowers her nose and then walks with me when I lead her out? She doesn’t approach me, but is the fact that she is calm and relaxed enough to wait for me to come to her a sign that we are, if not actually friends, at least on good terms? My presence did not disturb her relaxation in peace. So far in her life I have observed she is a naturally aloof mare, maybe this response aligns with her honest nature.  Maybe it’s similar to the truth that there are people who naturally greet and hug everyone and people who tend to stay in place until the new arrival makes their way over to them and then has a pleasant conversation without feeling the need to physically touch with a hug? Is one bad and one good? Or is one simply preferable to certain people and less inviting to others?

    What about the days when K is downright difficult to catch and tries to evade me at least for a time? Do we have a bad connection? Or do we have a strong one? Does she know she has the freedom to express her thought about leaving the pasture? As a lead mare, she usually has reasons on these days that might have nothing to do with me. She may sense a dangerous presence nearby and doesn’t want to leave Wyoming alone. She may sense something in the environment and would prefer the safety of her yard to going for an adventure where the danger lurks. The fact that she is communicating clearly she does not want to be caught and haltered may not mean she doesn’t like me today. However I think if she ran every time I came to find her, that would seem an indication of how she feels about me, or the work she is going to be asked to do.

    I don’t have confident answers to these questions. I am also not sure if they have any relevance. Is it ok that the twelve year old girl thinks her horse loves her when someone with a little more experience can see the signs that the horse is incredibly uncomfortable? I’ve known people who always carry some kind of treat for their horse when they go out in the pasture, and they will tell you their horse loves them. I’m both a little jealous because who doesn’t love their horses always coming to greet them, but I know too much to allow myself to think the horse loves me in that case, so it wouldn’t work for me anyway. From an outside perspective however, when the horse comes running to them it sure looks more convincing than my horse jogging away with two hind feet kicked up in my direction.

    It might be fun and make us feel good to convince ourselves that horses feel the warm and fuzzies about us, but then what? What happens when something tests the connection? Will it survive? Does that matter?

    Yes. This I do know. Our connection to the horse will be tested someday when their brain or instinct wants to do something very different from what we need them to do where our safety could be on the line. If we don’t have a strong, healthy, real, connection we can lean into, it’s likely the horse will not be able to stay engaged when things go sideways, we can end up on the ground, in the hospital or if we’re lucky just a good scare. I think a fair amount of equestrian injuries come from deep misunderstanding of what is going on between the person and the horse. In fairness, even with a good connection things can go wrong quickly leaving us injured, but there are times that connection can save our lives because we need the horse to set aside it’s instinct to stay with us and think through what we are asking. If the connection is true, it makes a big difference when the turkeys (or grouse) leave the road. If we aren’t honest about what’s really going on between us we may not know the kind of thin ice we’re actually walking- especially if we are lucky enough to not fall through the cracks very often.

    Just like between people, this kind of connection and relationship has to be built through experience over time.

    Ross asserts that one challenge we face in really becoming a friend to our horses, is that they do not see their days as meant for flying lead changes, trail riding for hours, having their hooves trimmed, or whatever else we want to do with them… He observes being a horse is about grazing, drinking, snoozing in the sun, chasing away a pesky new herd mate, and etc. One problem is we are generally an interruption in their day, not a true part of their lives. They might be willing to engage in our desired activity, but take care not to automatically equate obedience with willingness. 

    Ross asserts that it is not bad to want to be your horse’s friend, or hope your horse wants to spend time with you. I agree for sure. I suppose I wonder how much a predatory human on two legs can provide in terms of what we look at as a true companion to a horse. He found the times he went long-trekking for hundreds of miles were the closest he came to possibly becoming enough a part of his horse’s life experience that they had a bond that became almost a friendship. He was not an interruption anymore, they were doing life together 24/7 as they moved across the landscape each day. I suppose folks who actively work their horses in real life jobs have a tighter bond than I am likely to even have with my horses, even as an endurance rider who occasionally spends entire weekends together.

    Yet this is also ok. Is it possible I might go too far in what my expectations are for a willing partner to be also a best friend (when I have time for that friendship)? Does a horse have to love me in order to be a great partner? 

    Maybe these answers are as unique as there are people with horses. For me, I am beginning to question if we have to be friends the way humans think of friendship. Some people might feel the need for their horse to come running every time they enter the scene or their feelings are hurt. For me, right now, I think it’s more honest that my horse doesn’t have the same response every day, and I do want her to be have integrity of thought and feeling more than a compliance mindset. There are probably people not ready to have generative conversations with their horses, and compliance and obedience is going to be the best they have in this season. When you begin to allow your horse a real voice in the conversation, like with any relationship that enters a deeper level, we may hear things we don’t really want to hear. Ignorance can be bless! Sometimes when my friend Tom Moates helps a horse come out of a shut down and compliant place the people don’t really like what had been safely buried down in there. They’d prefer the shut down, dulled out, compliant horse, in many ways that’s easier than having real conversations and figuring out that the horse needs more than we have the tools to provide yet.

    One thing I am sure of, I want my horse, even if she sees me as an interruption in her day, to not find our time together painful, confusing, or anxiety creating. I do want to know what my horse thinks and feels, and I want to be able to have influence over those thoughts and feelings. I want the work I do with my horse to leave her in a better place physically, mentally and emotionally better than she was before. I fail at this from time to time, but I believe it is possible. I want our connection to be based as much as possible in truth and reality. May I honor my horse for the wonderful creature she is and not who I want to think she is, as I know I have done in years past. My understanding of this over time may shift with new experiences, but may I always be curious and open minded to see what is actually in front of me and not a projection of what I wish were so.

  • The other side of trouble

    The other side of trouble

    July 15, 2024

    My eyes began to water in the heat of the afternoon as I stood in the large dirt arena watching the scene unravel. I was glad it wasn’t likely anyone would notice. My back was to the onlookers, and Mark was working with the wild mare, too involved in what he was doing to notice. I’m not so concerned about tears in public anymore, though it’s not my favorite, but I was pretty sure anyone who did notice would misunderstand the reason for the emotions gripping me in the scene. 

    They didn’t come from watching my mare rear violently in reaction to even feather light pressure on the halter. Particularly when she became so reactive she fell on her side in the dirt which was quite dramatic. (She wasn’t hurt).

    The emotion didn’t come from worry that Mark was being unreasonable in his approach, creating unnecesary fear and stress, and watching him work with her might upset me. I knew he did not create any of what I was observing, it had been inside her as long as I’ve known her.

    What grieved me as I watched Wyoming flailing on that lead rope like a fish on a line was a snapshot I had somewhere in my heart of how many of us go through life or seasons of life like this. We are fighting and we can’t seem to stop fighting. We end up getting hurt, and hurting those around us while we flail and fight against what we perceive as life threatening pressure but what is intended to be a comfort. I saw myself at times. I saw people I love at times. I saw humanity. I saw my beautiful mare react in dramatic fashion as if her life was in danger, unable to let go of her past experience, trauma, and fear to trust the guidance. It touched me in an unexpected way in that moment.

    Mark Langley working with Wyoming

    Mark Langley, who was instructing the four-day clinic on the last stop of his USA tour, cares deeply for the horses and this thing in her that overreacts to any pressure is a torment she does not need to carry. He was hoping he could help her get through it to the other side of this trouble. There is a physical or mental memory (maybe a combination) in her that was seared into her on day one of her mustang make over competition training. 

    I was told the history when I picked up the wild mare in Tennessee: the trainer put the halter on Wyoming, the mare reacted in fear and came aggressively toward the trainer, the trainer (in her own words) overreacted, putting excess pressure on the halter, and sent the mare up in the air. Her first experience of education with a human ended in a rear up, back flip, and injury to her neck that took her out of the contest and put her on a trailer to Tennessee to have a slower longer training process through the Bureau of Land Management’s (BLM) Trainer Incentive Program (TIP).

    It’s likely with the trainer’s natural horsemanship approach: round pen, energy work and driving to create draw, the mare could be successful and avoid having the feel of restriction of the halter on her head. She became an amazing energy and body language reader. She became a punishment avoiding release hunter. When we picked her up as total strangers, just walking into the small arena, she would hook on to us or whomever it was, and follow closely. It didn’t occur to me that so much draw had been created in this mare that she felt the only good place to be was next to a human in order to avoid being sent out and driven.

    Since I’ve had the mare, asking her to back up and out of your space brings pinned ears and stress. It’s a huge feat years later to ask her to comfortably stay just out of your bubble. If I do get her to step back three feet and stand she gets anxious and begins to try to offer a circle or creep back in. She has the expectation that the human is going to ask something of her and she throws out possible options anticipating what might come next. She has learned if she doesn’t comply quickly enough with a request, the enforcing punishment will come via escalating pressure: a lead rope to her hind end, a flag will touch her, the bump on the halter. She lives in the future of what might be coming, and how to avoid it. If she can’t avoid it she feels trapped, gets angry and fights back. 

    the potential for pull back is serious in a trailer

    I stopped natural horsemanship style driving about 18 months ago when I watched Harry Whitney work horses in February of 2023. I think it’s begun to help change some of Wyoming’s experience and reactions, but the deep early formative work with her is still churning away at her core, and when it gets poked it comes out in big reactive displays. 

    The physical feel is only one thread of the knot which is inside this horse. Many horses comply to driving pressure (I have one who did), but Wyoming was one of the horses for whom the combination created a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde monster. She is either snappy quick, spot on with her reaction to a request or super angry and violent. Additionally in layer of wound up layers, she is a mare who has a hard time letting go of anxious thoughts. 

    Jaime working with Wyoming during the clinic

    Not only is strong drive and draw set into her, but when she is very close to me she can keep track of me physically while keeping her mind out on the larger environment. Asking her to back off three feet also means the human become part of the larger environment and she has to give mental space to keeping track me as well as everything in the next three miles in every direction. She has yet to become truly mentally centered in the way she can let go of the “other things” she holds onto for her survival.

    It’s stunning how she can be in this mental, physical, emotional place and still function to the level she does. If we could ever get to the other side of trouble there’s a phenomenal mare in there.

    How do we get to the other side of trouble?

    If I could answer this definitively I could have helped a lot more people and horses than I have to date. Yet somehow I’m still at this mystery even when I get discouraged. I wonder if I’ll ever know something definitely enough to be of value to a horse- or maybe even some of my fellow humans who are willing to take the mysterious journey into this wilderness of trying to understand how to help a horse feel better and be a more powerful willing partner.

    I do believe it is possible and so I don’t give up even when there are setbacks and it gets hard.  I do believe with a horse like Wyoming it is a matter of going through to the other side of the trouble and not letting the trouble make her world smaller and smaller until she is afraid of any pressure at all.

    It’s likely that Wyoming’s early training taught her that pressure meant she needed to adjust in order to get the pressure to go away. Unfortunately, anytime someone takes a rein in hand it creates a pressure or imbalance that the horse has to respond to – if done well it should bring the horse comfort through guidance, but if they have been trained to avoid pressure and seek release we have lost the ability to guide them through the reins or the lead rope. Very few people work their horses in the real world without reins or a lead rope. Nor do I recommend it as the ideal. Yet this means anytime someone picks up a rein to communicate with their horse, instead of relaxing into a guiding hand, many horses respond with anxiety to seek immediate release of pressure/imbalance which creates brace and tension through the body which works against strength, balance and grace in forward movement. 

    Jaime & Mark with Wyoming & Khaleesi

    I have a hope that Wyoming can get through this extreme fear of pressure that was created early in her training (and solidified for a time by me) so she can trust me to guide her. I want her to feel the rein or lead rope guide her into where she will find peace and safety in my leadership. I want her to correct the imbalance she notices and in doing so find she has choices, and the freedom to choose a path of lease resistance that is fairly available to her because I am able to offer that. But I also want her to be able to stay connected at the end of the rope in appropriate balance of pressure like I would hold my dad’s hand to cross the street as a child.

    She has to stop fighting first. If she would stop fighting she could follow that feel and see it would not bring her danger or pain, but comfort and safety. I asked myself if this deep sadness that came over me momentarily was indicative that this scene was playing out in my own life, or was a memory now. I’d like to say I’ve learned not to fight against the hand that guides me with strength, kindness and love. I know that my own journey through the wilderness is far from over, and sometimes I don’t even realize that I’m fighting the guidance that feels like pressure and imbalance and sometimes downright life threatening to me. 

    I’m sure Wyoming doesn’t understand what I’m trying to do in the bigger picture just as I really don’t always understand the big picture of what is going on in my own life while I’m in the middle of it all. 

    We were not able to get Wyoming to the other side of trouble in the four days of the clinic, but I learned some things that I hope will help me continue to guide her through. As with most worthwhile journeys, I feel like we’re deep into the wilderness, but in recent years I’ve learned something about the wilderness. I’ve learned it’s the place we least want to go, yet it’s the place where the transformation takes place. If we are going to get to the other side of trouble, chances are we have to be willing to be led into the wilderness.

    And so I go.

  • Mind or Meat

    Mind or Meat

    Endurance News Summer Extra just printed this article I wrote, since it’s been officially published I can now share it here for my own readers.

    Anyone who’s attended an endurance event has heard the conversation with the rider who has the horse that pulls their shoulders out of joint, determined to run at the fastest speed possible, oblivious to any influence from the human and on the edge of control for the first loop or two. This scenario is common enough to have a name in the endurance world: Race Brain. 

    I haven’t ridden that horse, but I have ridden the one who wouldn’t leave camp after the first loop without a crop. I’ve known horses who can’t continue in an event if their buddy is pulled. These issues may appear unrelated to many, but I believe they share a common root cause.

    Perched on the periphery of a round pen last year, I watched Harry Whitney work a troubled horse. “When the body is in one place, and the mind is in another, there’s trouble in the household,” Harry said, wanting us to understand this anxious horse who was pacing and calling to friends in a faraway stall, had quite literally lost his mind. The owner had brought the horse’s body to the pen, but the mind remained with his friends. The body and the mind needed to be reunited, but there was disagreement on how. The horse was expending great effort to take its body back to its mind, but Harry was determined to bring the mind to be present with the body.

    Harry Whitney in Vista, CA

    I watched Harry do very little, but at the right time, in the right way, and saw the horse’s mind come present, and peace settled on the scene. I knew this was different but not sure how. Seeking clarity, I asked him a question, and I’ve returned to his answer time and again:

    What it comes down to is your intention, are you trying to move the mind or the meat?

    What Harry was explaining, is often people determine to mechanically manipulate the horse’s body.  But Harry advocates engaging the horse’s mind, so the horse can move himself in a relaxed and willing way.  These approaches produce vastly different results, and establish very different relationships between horses and humans.

    Any time a human has trouble with a horse, Harry insists, it’s because a human had one plan and the horse had another which he could not let go of. It’s in the solving of this problem we have a myriad of techniques, opinions, and more disagreement!

    We know it’s not good for the horse to run inverted and braced against the rider. This is one reason many riders choose to tie down the horse’s head in a martingale.  Also, I haven’t met a rider who enjoys riding a horse with a lost mind. These horses run through even severe bits, so that is ineffective for extreme cases. Many horses, (and riders) on race day are high on adrenaline, and that brings excessive strength for the short term, but at a cost. The sympathetic nervous system is intended for quick reaction to life-threatening circumstance, not for hours in a day. 

    Mark Langley shared a story on his podcast of an endurance horse in Australia that finished in the top 5 in most races. Eventually, this talented horse was breaking down and experiencing muscle wasting. The horse had been competing on adrenaline, which was a factor in his success, and the stress was breaking his body down from the inside out. 

    The first step in solving any problem is identification. The fact we have the term race brain tells me somewhere we know this is a problem of the mind— we don’t call it race body. I’m not sure why it wasn’t obvious to me in years past, that we can’t effectively solve a problem of the mind with a mechanical approach. Approaching my horse with a view of where her mind is has meant changes to my riding. I no longer carry a crop and I’ve learned ways to bring her mind along with us when we leave camp. In some cases we can force the body to our will, but it puts us at a long term disadvantage. When we add a more severe bit, a tie down, or a crop we might get the job done, but the horse doesn’t move in relaxation, balance, and strength. They aren’t feeling good about the work or the relationship. The horse is running under stress and the effects will show up in the body. 

    This kind of mental approach isn’t a quick answer training plan; it’s a fundamental shift in my thinking. It’s a practice; a way of life. It’s also endless in possibilities— I get better every time I go learn from good horsemen who are further down the trail in this practice. I am increasingly aware of when her mind is with me and when it’s not, and it’s easier to make changes before the separation is too great. I’ve had to get creative and ask myself: how I can get it done through the mind and not the meat? and I still find myself trying to get things done by force more often than I’d like to admit. 

    Photo by Becky Pearman: Start of the OD 100 2023

    When my horse’s mind comes through and she is present in our work, I see and feel it in her body. Not only is everything more enjoyable, but I’ve seen these changes bring better performance in events over the last year. This is also a key to longevity. A horse moving in relaxation and balance will stay strong and sound over more miles than one mechanically driven. So next time you are problem solving a challenging horse behavior maybe you’ll also start with the question: mind or meat?

    Though the ideas here are simple, they can take a lifetime of practice to truly master. What has helped me progress along this journey is finding good horse-folk to observe, learn from, talk with and work under. I’ve been fortunate enough to learn from Harry Whitney as an auditor and in clinic with my horse, invite Tom Moates to work with me in my own neighborhood in our special event roving clinics a few times a year, I’ve spent some time with Ronnie Moyer, and I have a unique opportunity to host Mark Langley on his USA tour in less than two weeks (July 4-7, 2024) here in Virginia! I have heard some other horsefolk thinking in this vein though I know less about them personally: Charlie Snell, Ross Jacobs, and Libby Lyman.

    While you have to find Harry in person, he does extensively tour the US and you should be able to get to him in some corner of the US. I flew to California for my first visit with him for a 5-day clinic (auditing) and have never regretted the investment. I could have found him closer to home but I didn’t want to wait the six months until he was teaching in Virginia, but I brought a horse to that clinic and learned a ton.

    On the other hand, Tom Moates has a myriad of great books walking readers through his horsemanship journey that are incredibly helpful. He’s also a regular clinician for Hope Horsemanship here in Virginia, so contact Jaime if you’d like to get in to work with him!

    Jaime & Wyoming with Tom Moates in Virginia

    Mark Langley has a great podcast you find on Apple Podcasts and other podcast players. He also has a solid video library with a very inexpensive monthly membership ($15/month) and answers member questions — and does a pretty good job helping walk people through challenges online, which is tricky!

    There’s no other way to fasttrack this kind of shift in human thinking that helps support our horses, than finding someone farther along the trail to learn from. Find the step that most suits your style and give it a go!

    And stop in to say hello during Freedom Week at the Powerful Horse Expo and definitely if you’re in driving distance from Greenville, VA come audit the Mark Langley clinic July 4-7, 2024. Mark will give a demo on Friday evening, July 5 and tickets are available here: Mark Langley Demo. I’m still open for a rider spot for the clinic as well, though that could change quickly… but certainly contact me if you’re interested to see if it’s still available!

    Mark Langley
  • Change is possible…

    Change is possible…

    Hello! I’m sending this short “extra” to share two videos to show the continued work this spring with wild Wyoming, the horse that was never wrong (for a day).

    Last year I spent some time with Harry Whitney, read some books by Tom Moates– and invited him to come visit with us here in the mountains, and listened to a fair amount of Mark Langley‘s podcast. I was steeping myself in this way of considering the horse that was a fundamental shift in my approach as much as possible.

    I had some nice changes with Khaleesi over the year that I’m loving watching take root into an early harvest this Spring. As we prepare for some events this year, I can feel her new levels of relaxation and adjustability in movement! However Wyoming and I had a rougher go of the changes and trying to sort out how to understand each other in a better way. Last summer there were a fair amount of death threats (probably from each of us) as the lines of muddled communication began to untangle, and sometimes things get looking worse before they begin to smooth out.

    Regardless, I knew there was something important in the process so I kept at it.

    Then the horses moved home in November which has been a big change for all of us that is settling in nicely now six months into it… and I’ve begun to spend some time working with them again.

    The initial work with Wyoming this year has been promising, and in the subsequent sessions, I’ve seen continued progress toward more partnership. Certainly the difference rests mostly in me. Change is possible, but it has to begin with “me” because usually the horse is a perfectly good horse doing what horses are created to do, and usually what the exhibit is in response to the way their environment (mostly human caused) has shaped in them. So regardless of who that human (or humans) were and what it was that did the shaping- that’s not nearly as important as where to go next. The change has been happening in me as I continue to seek and grow and take an honest assessment of my flaws and weaknesses in order to commit to address them.

    I’m encouraged by the start of this year, and it gives me hope that there really is change possible for the two of us. I have a sliver of excitement that maybe this could be “the year” for Wyoming and me to begin to function together in a positive way!

    Change is possible, but it has to begin with “me”

    People have mentioned lately that staying with this dysfunctional situation for over six years must mean I have a whole lot of patience and determination. I suppose in some respects that is a little true. However… I remind them that she had more patience and determination to help me, because she is the one who refused to get on a trailer for that long- and I live in the end of nowhere… which meant I couldn’t move her on if I wanted to and pass her education on to someone else! Unless I was willing to shoot a perfectly healthy horse (which I did consider once or twice, but never seriously!) I wasn’t left with many options but to keep slogging onward. Considering in all those years of lots of sound and fury and threatening, she only once gave me a bruise from trying to bite the halter and grazing my arm, I think she’s been the one to praise. Apparently she never gave up on me.

    I won’t get ahead of myself yet. We have a long journey ahead of us, but I think we’ve begun to sort out a better path, and maybe you’ll begin to see some exciting changes in our story this season… stay tuned and see!

    Meanwhile, here are two videos that will show more than my words are able how the progress is coming for now.